Hogwash, from adverts; a little Wednesday fun

Botox is not a cosmetic.

Chrysler is not refueling America by promising $2.99 gas for 3 years* after purchasing one of their big arse gas guzzling new cars.

Horseshyte

Maybelline's XL Lip Plumper will not make my lips look 30% plumper. The only thing that will do that is an allergic reaction.

Wal-Mart does not give a flying ____ about the environment. **

Super-Dooper-Wal-Mart

Buying a Pur water filter will not help the planet. It just means you're paranoid.

Using Clorox disinfecting wipes in my kitchen will not make my family healthier, unless I am raising chickens in said room.

Using a beauty cream by Estee Lauder will not make me look as if I had a good night's sleep when I had a bad night's sleep.

* Using a special card, program participants pay $2.99 per gallon for a maximum number of gallons (which varies depending on model) of unleaded gas or diesel fuel in each of the next 3 years. So no matter what the price at the pump says, you'll never have to pay more than $2.99/gallon.To qualify for the program, you must purchase or lease an eligible Chrysler vehicle from May 7 through June 2, 2008 and have a valid MasterCard or Visa credit card or check card. The gallon allotment calculation used to determine three years of gas at $2.99 per gallon is as follows: 12,000 miles driven per year multiplied by 3 years, divided by the vehicle's adjusted combined EPA City/Highway average miles per gallon (MPG) (average MPG calculated via average of all body models MPG within each nameplate). Please refer to attached matrix to view individual nameplate average MPG blah blah blah...

** You’re invited to play the SpongeBob Eco-Adventure game at www.BigGreenHelp.com, sponsored by Wal-Mart. Help SpongeBob and Patrick save Bikini Bottom from an undersea avalanche of un-recycled trash—and the dreaded dirty bubbles! Enter the code “walmart” to unlock extra levels and for exclusive game content.